i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
