dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
