you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
