At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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