I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
