i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
