I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
