well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
