he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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