uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
