did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
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I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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