just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Drake has all the answers
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize