even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
