As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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