This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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