the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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