it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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