My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
