Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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