when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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