Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize