Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
