nut hugger
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
