I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
