I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize