im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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