life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
