we made out on top of his cat.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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