Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I think your dad took our porno
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
