Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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