She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
