no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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