You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
