is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
