Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
