I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Randomize
