Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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