well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
