There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
