She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Found your dick twin last night
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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