I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
