Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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