Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
