I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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