I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Randomize
