he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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