I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
