You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
