You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
