Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
