so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
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All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
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I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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