Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
