we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
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Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
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Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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