weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
