I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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