And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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