I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
