I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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