it hurts more in the daytime
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
